• By Tim Carey
• In-Control

I have a confession to make.

The whole living-in-the-moment thing doesn’t really do it for me. And the broader mindfulness field of which “living in the moment” seems to be an essential feature, doesn’t light my fire either.

By way of context, although the notion of “living in the moment” seems to have taken on a life of its own, my understanding is that it was, originally, just one aspect of mindfulness. And in turn, mindfulness was just one element of Buddhist teachings and practices.

Somehow though, in the translation from East to West, mindfulness was extracted from the philosophy in which it was born, and “living in the moment” was duly distilled from mindfulness. Various sources of information now even suggest that “mindfulness” and “living in the moment” are synonymous terms. It is not clear therefore, at least to me, what the relationship is between the concepts as they are taught and enacted in the modern-day West and the way they were originally described in Buddhist writings.

A recurring theme, however, appears to be that the point of mindfulness practices, or being more mindful generally, is to “live in the moment.” Dipping into any of the myriad available websites reveals that mindfulness is routinely associated with phrases such as “being fully present,” “engaged in the moment,” “being intensely aware of what you’re sensing,” “feeling in the moment.” Perhaps it is information such as this that has led to the blurring of the concepts.

If some people find it helpful to pluck out one piece of ancient Eastern wisdom and apply it to problems of modern Western living, I have no quarrel with that. I wonder though if there are other people like me for whom these ideas don’t really help them live the life they want. If the habit of paying attention to the immediacy of life doesn’t make the sun shine and the roses bloom for you, maybe it’s the ideas that are the problem, not you. It could be that you haven’t applied yourself diligently enough, but it could also be that there’s something amiss with the approach.

I don’t want to seem like some persnickety troglodyte who has turned up to the party with a sodden duvet but, in general, I have three main gripes with the “live in the moment” strategy. The objections I have are all closely related but there is perhaps some merit in demarcating them as separate grumbles for the sake of clarity.

First, I’m not sure what the problem is for which “living in the moment” is the apparent solution. I’ve seen suggestions that if you worry about the past or fret about the future then you’ll achieve peace of mind by just “living in the moment.” That is, you should wrench your mind away from the problems that are demanding its attention and instead, notice the pressure of your derriere against whatever it is you are currently sitting on, or tune into the sights and sounds and smells that are caressing your senses.

I don’t know about you, but for me, it doesn’t make any sense to not think about something that is bothering me. When things aren’t going right for me, I find it helpful to focus on the problem more rather than less. I have achieved solace by actually plunging deep into the murky messiness to see if some insights about what’s going on will reveal themselves.

But that’s just me.

So, gripe #1 — for which problem or problems is “living in the moment” a solution?

Logically, it would seem that living in the moment should be a solution to the problem of not living in the moment. If we can assume then, that “living in the moment” is the remedy for not living in the moment, another beef I have is that we’re immediately confronted with a conundrum! Living only ever occurs in the moment. Not living in the moment is not, and cannot ever be, a problem, because it’s an impossibility.

If living in the moment is a helpful thing to be aware of — and I’m not at all convinced it is — then no one has to learn to live in the moment. They just need to recognize that that’s all they ever do. All they can do. It’s fanciful to believe we can do anything else.

If I’m worrying about some past mishap, I’m worrying right now. In the moment. If I’m working myself up about some event that is yet to happen, I’m catastrophizing in the moment!

Paradoxically, I’ve noticed that when I do pay attention to “the moment,” that takes me away from whatever it was I was just doing or thinking about.

Our attention is always somewhere. We can focus on our current experience and we can focus on focusing on our current experience. We can even focus on focusing on our current experience. At times, just for fun, I observe myself observing myself observing whatever it is I’m doing. For me, it’s a really entertaining and engaging activity. Pushing myself to see how many metaphorical steps back I can take while assuming a different observer perspective each time quickly encases me in a giggly, whimsical frame of mind that is thoroughly enjoyable for a minute or two. Then I get back to doing whatever it was I was doing before the awareness-hopping interlude.

Whenever you are noticing being in the moment in the moment, you are not doing the activity in the moment in which you were previously engaged. Our attention can jump swiftly throughout the labyrinth of our mind, but it can’t be in two places at once.

Perhaps I’m just not doing it right. I’ve never been able to figure out how I can maximise the time I spend being fully immersed in the present moment, and also schedule meetings with my staff or book our family holiday or organise the weekend tennis lesson or plan the evening meal or consider any other task that is yet to occur. I can appreciate the value the Buddha derived from being as fully immersed as possible in the moment on his way to enlightenment. But he probably also didn’t have to contend with organising his receipts for this year’s tax return or transporting eggs to market without them breaking or making the monthly salary cover the mortgage, the groceries, the electricity, and the school fees or negotiating traffic and public transport to arrive at the interview both on time and looking presentable or making it home after school without being teased, harassed, and bullied.

So, gripe #2 — promoting the adoption of a “living in the moment” strategy conveys the impression that this is a special maneuver that needs to be learned and practiced. It’s not. “The moment” is the exclusive, non-negotiable arena where all living always occurs. Perhaps for some people there is more to living than increasing the time we pay close and exclusive attention to the right now of this very second.

And my final moan is that I haven’t yet been able to discover the “so what?” of the “living in the moment” strategy. What is so monumentally transforming about appreciating that living is a “right now” phenomenon and developing the discipline of constantly paying attention to the right nowness of it all? I’ve just never experienced the fanfare that one might expect to follow something with as much hype and hoopla as the “living in the moment” campaign.

So, gripe #3 — I have yet to comprehend the “so what?” to the “living in the moment” initiative. As of this moment, there is no “so what?” as far as I can tell.

When people find something that helps them live life the way they want, it makes a lot of sense to embrace and relish that approach. For some people, playing the “living in the moment” game and adopting other tactics from the mindfulness armory fits that bill. For others, however, understanding that life as a process of control always and only ever occurs in the moment might be the knowledge that makes their kite soar. With this understanding, they can confront, address, and remedy any problems they encounter to ensure that, more often than not, their life is as they would wish it to be.

Life is to be lived. Whatever you decide to pay attention to, and how long you pay attention to it for, life will continue to continue until it ceases to continue. Perhaps there is a matter that is more important than whether you’re attending to this very moment, a past moment, or a moment that is yet to bloom.

Whichever moment you’re attending to, have you pondered whether it’s the way you want it to be? If it is, how can you get more of it? If it isn’t, what rectifying measures are you going to take? How can you make every moment be as good as it can possibly be from right now until there are no more moments to consider?